my 1st train journey to Segamat =)

1030.. a glance at my watch showed that the train was delayed for more than a quarter of hour. Waiting for my hubby to send me off, I was worried about the journey back to KB fr segamat. Fr KB, I booked a bed (or what-eva-it-is-called). It was a good trip. Having the bed all for myself, and don’t need to ‘beramah-mesra’ with any other passengers (not because I’m anti-social, but I had a busy day, and rest-to-the fullest during the journey had became my motto :p). The ‘bed-seating’ was sold out. So, I bought the most-‘expensive’ seat (which is a second class :( … I was nagging for a 1^st class ticket.. but apparently there’s NO 1^st class ticket for KB-S’pore train). (price KB-Segamat: RM47 lower bed, RM41 upper bed, RM37 2^nd class seat, I’m not sure bout the 3^rd class one.. I think its pretty cheap).

i googled this image

Saying goodbye to my beloved husband (without hugs n kisses- no PDA ;p), I board the train to endure my 10 hours journey (min) ON A SEAT for the whole night, with the lights turned on the whole night (unlike buses, they didn’t switch off the light). The seat besides me was empty (Alhamdulillah..).. I was arranging my stuff, and started reading the novel I bought when I realized someone was observing me. I ignored him for a moment before asking whether his seat is beside me (which I pray not). I can always tell if someone is hitting on me, and it’s really annoying. Saying something like there’s prob with his seat (which seems really unlikely), and asking if I mind if he seats beside me (of course laa I mind, bodo laa mamat nih ß dlm hati), I said ‘cannot’ with a cold face.. trying to ignore the fact that someone was STANDING beside my seat in a MOVING train, I pretended to be reading. But it’s getting really uncomfortable when he keeps trying to start a conversation. My final resort was texting my husband ‘call me ASAP’.. apologizing, I answered my hubby’s call, facing the opposite way. All praise to Him, that guy went away when the train conductor came to check for ticket. I was feeling nervous the whole journey, in case he came again.

Moral of the story, book early, and book for a bed instead of seat. It can be a really enjoyable journey. When u are bored, you can always walk around, from coach to coach. And there’s even a cafeteria =) there are private room in the train to KL, but none for this one. Next time I want to try that private room (would cost me around 200 maybe).. but if and only if i got ample time (50 min on flight versus 12hours on train.. hoho)..

I need to say this, to all the guys out there, jadilah manusia berguna.. there are too many guys yg tak jadi ‘orang’ dah. Value your life. Stop doing stupid things (like hitting on people that is obviously trying to ignore you).

when family became stranger

(*** this entry does not related to my nuclear family..)

n.. when strangers became family..

i'm really pissed (pardon my word).. i mean, no matter what conflicts came btw the adults, why dragged urself into it? people always (n really mean ALWAYS) talk bad things about others when the other party dont get into good terms with them.. but, helloooo... if u r not satisfied with others, keep it to urself, dont drag other people to join u in 'boycotting' or 'hating' that person .. dh laa dosa benci kt org satu, nk tambah2 lg dosa ngumpat+suruh org lain benci kt org jugak...

there there.. istighfar.. ni kes 'luka lama berdarah kembali' la ni.. huhu... conflicts will always happen, but u learn to let it go, and put it behind.. but some people just want to live with it. making it bigger and bigger each day. n by each moment, the 'story' will worsen.. n i really dont get it, why some people cant live without gossiping.. its like their 'food of the soul' is talking bad about others..

i'm not a very good person. of that i already know.. i tend to do wierd stuff.. i rather 'run' compared to 'walk', i hang out with my students as if they are my buddy, i talk loudly, i cry in public when i lose my temper, i throw things at people when i'm mad.. etc etc.. but who are you to tell the public that u dont like me.. (i'm also not fond of your personality, but i dont go around telling bad things about you,n i treat you really well in public.. )..

nway, thats the old story.. but, i'm really hurt by that. if i dont know better; but i knew that memutuskn silaturrahim is a great sin, i really gonna ignore the person.. (may Allah forgive us all).. people said, blood is thicker than water, so what? everyone in the world has the same red blood cells ( altho there r diff types of rbc).

uh uh.. its me being emo again... i think its time to cook smtg.. pie or tart shud be good.. mybe i'll make custard or egg tart, popia will be good also.. (urghh... i need to exercise more.. )

**feeling better**

..home sweet home..

internet sgt slow.. sgt sgt tension dgn internet nih..

hari nih gi beli stem hasil.. then round bandar dgn hebatnya utk cari pejabat hasil.. just to cop that stem hasil.. last2 jumpa kat bandar cukai utama. dh cop 5 x RM10 inggit stem hasil 4 my borang biasiswa NSF. nk kene sign penjamin je. x semua org sanggup nk jd penjamin (i shud hv known.. nway, no hard feeling.. i'll find someone else).. gov letak syarat either mum or dad, xleh dua2 org jd penjamin, kalau x semalam dh blh hntr. altho sgt leceh, i dont regret rejecting biasiswa USM, bcoz if not i wont be home now.. hehe.. kalau amik biasiswa USM, xleh cuti byk2.. heh heh..

lunch menu: kari ikan, ikan goreng, stir fry taugeh + saleri., and also kerang rebus cicah air asam.. my brother requested kari ikan (dia tgh nk belajar masak.. persediaan utk hidup brdikari kt uni)

tea time: aft battling within myself (karipap @ donut @ popia).. i end up buying mauripan. so the winner is donut. also want to make pau goreng. nnti boleh frozen kn, senang cik dib nk bawak bekal gi sekolah.

okay.. dh tgh hari.. kain still tgh bilas.. nk masak, jemur kain, then boleh baca journal jap b4 wat donut..

** counting HIS blessings.. family+love+health+faith.. alhamdulillah..

i want to eat..

afraid of getting fatter, but lately rasa mcm nk makaaannn je kerje [no i'm not pregnant -yet-]. mybe depression mode kot.. i need someone to tell me what shud i do next for my research.. doktor.. tulunnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! need to call of those penggawa.. makcik2 sekalian, tolong laa jadi subject utk research saya, cucuk sikit je, x sakit pon.. huhu....

since kak mona pindah, i havent got the chance (and also money) to buy a new fridge.. (desperately need one!).. sy xleh nk wat milkshake.. (sy rasa mcm nk minum milkshake). n i read how to make lassi (yogurt+milk drinks).. i want to make vanilla lassi!! (dulu penah minum kt kedai arab.. sgt best!! ).. nk wat karipap gak.. (okay.. karipap mmg xyah ada peti.. but i tend to make a whole BUNCH of karipap, n of course laa xdpt habiskn, so kene laa frozen kan the one yg x goreng lg).. same goes with donut.. smlm masa sembang2 ngn kakak kt lab nih, tersebut pasal tart.. so nk makan tat telur (nk kene sejukkn the pastry).. x selera nk mkn yg jual kt kedai (yes, sy mengada2, i prefer to eat smtg that i cooked myself even when it doesnt taste that good).. aih bila boleh balik nih.. nk try resepi tat peach yg tgh duk reka2 dlm kepala since yesterday..



hmm.... rasa2nyer sindrom2 depression mode ialah masak kot, instead of makan. nway, sy berusaha dgn struggle (really struggling) utk tdk menggemokkan diri.. huhu... (kaki terseliuh last time, masa nk panjat palang sits-up - sbb gradient die nearly 45degree.. sit-up yg mencabar fizikal.. so skrg berehat sebentar fr jogging).. ada dietitian baru yg comel kt lab nih, wat kawan joging petang2.. skrg plan nk beli reket tennis (altho sure nnti letih kejar bola je.. hehe)..

soothing

" Dia telah memilih kamu, dan Dia tidak sekali-kali menjadikan untuk kamu dalam agama satu kesempitan (Ikutilah) agama orang tuamu Ibrahim, Dia telah menamakan kamu sekalian orang-orang muslimin dahulu dan (begitu pula) dalam (al-Qur'an) ini, supaya Rasul itu menjadi saksi atas kamu dan supaya kamu pula menjadi orang-orang yang menjadi saksi atas segenap manusia, maka dirikanlah solat, tunaikanlah zakat, dan berpeganglah kalu kepada Allah, Dia adalah pelindungMu, maka Dialah sebaik-baik pelindung dan sebaik-baik penolong" [al-Hajj: 78]

2010... a yr with a BZ beginning

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Entering the 2nd week of 2010.. and i think my energy hs bn nearly drained..huhu

1st, my research grant was cut another 2.5k!! sabor je laaaa... after all those defends. so, need to start writing another proposal to IPS to apply the 10k IPS grant (meaning another workload for my research, coz need to add another objective). nway, hopefully will get the short term grant soon.. i havent even start searching for my 150 subjects (thanks to the school for the delay... urghhh..).

okay.. tu grant.. last few days, my supervisor informed me about the 2nd NCEH, and as it is in colloboration with us, PERSALA (postgrads assc) , automatically we need to involved in all those planning, publicity, etc etc.. n atop of all that, i need to submit paper.. (well.. paper tu yg paling penting actually, but i was kept away from writing that paper by all other works)..

our tunas APEX prog (a workshop and hands-on prog in encouraging undergrad to further study), fr a RM7k project, tiba2 jadi RM30k project.. uh uh.. participants kene doubled, nk kene jemput uni luar, penceramah pun nk kene pilih yg ada high impact.. pastu kuiz sc end of this month (blm stat publicity pon lagi.. hoho).. rasa2nyer yg plg senang among all is that kursus kahwin projek.. huhu.. sbb awe just PA..so ulang-alik update dgn JAHEIK je (apart for reviewing kertas kerja and budget).

hopefully dlm masa terdekat x dipanggil meeting utk projek PPSK yg last time tunda due to budget constrain.. owh.. n projek amal to kemboja (saya sgt bz, boleh x kalu saya x ikot gi kemboja.. nnti research sy x siap.. huhuhu).. n projek 'pengantarabangsaan' with uni of sydney (walaupun sy teringin nk gi sydney n wat collaboration prog, tp bl fikir2 all the works yg nk kene buat, n meetings yg kene attend b4 the trip, i think i just tunggu my hubby bw sy gi jalan2 kt sana lah.. huhu..)..

apa2 pun.. i'm in a good mood sbb akhir bulan nih nk turun KL for konvensyen pemikiran ISHAB =D over excited nk gi jumpa my my loved oness (ramai nih.. hehehe..)

okay awe.. dh penat membebel utk lessen my stress.. (eventho smlm by berjaya membisingkn diri pasal byk ngt prog masa tepon..).. k awe, BERUSAHALAH!!

Mencari Keberkatan

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

i was informed about a ceramah by a friend (thank you), kt masjid usm, i supposed its due to the awal muharram. the topic given was 'mencari keberkatan dlm pelajaran' (well.. all of us are students), but kupasan die more on 'mencari keberkatan dlm kehidupan'. nway, i'll shaare my notes, altho actually the points are quite basic n i'm sure everyone pun dh tahu, but it's still good to revise.

there are 3 main things that we really should jaga:

1. Niat

the ustaz stress on hadith 1 (innamal a'malubin niat).. in most kitab yg compile hadith, this is the 1st hadith yg akan dibicarakan (ust tu kata lah).. but its true that 'setiap amalan bermula dgn niat'. hadith ini diturunkn due to hijrah Rasul n sahabat fr mekah to madinah. as the hijrah means lots of sacrifices (tinggal keluarga, harta, kg halaman without any jaminan penerimaan dr madinah), we shud expect ganjaran yg besar dr Allah. tp tidak. kerana 'jika hijrah kerana Allah n Rasul, maka hijrah itu diterima Allah n Rasul', tapi ada yg berhijrah kerana 'dunia yg ingin dimiliki n wanita yg ingin dikahwini',maka itu lah yg mereka dpt. samalah spt dlm 1 jemaah solat, setiap indivitu akan mendapat ganjaran yg berbeza, bergantung kpd niat masing2. dr niat kerana Allah itu, akan timbulnya keikhlasan, dan dari situ lah akan tercapainya keberkatan Ilahi. iA.

2. Hubungan dgn Allah

i dont think this 1 need further huraian (actually i dont hv anything to say. faham2 sendiri). iman naik n turun. tp kita boleh berusaha utk mendekatkan diri dgnNya. jaga solat. jaga Qur'an. (pesanan mama n abah to us all the time).

3. Hubungan dgn manusia

1 interesting point yg ustaz ckp is 'manusia yg plg hampir dgn kita ialah Rasulullah'. but he didnt explain further. i though mayb throughout daily lives, we should make him as an example kot (wallahua'lam). nnti email die suruh dia explain lagi. owh.. hopefully semua org tahu yg bila org sebut nama Rasul, kita kene selawat (SAW).. nnti jd sebakhil2 manusia.. ust ada tambah 'hub dgn guru'n 'hub dgn sahabat', but sbb 'guru n sahabat' pun 'manusia', so me letak under point nih je lah.

*xsempat nk hurai panjang2. limited access towards internet (sy dlm lab.. huhu)

Salam Maal Hijrah 1431

baca doa akhir tahun dulu...

pastu baru baca doa awal tahun =)